Illuminated
by Ageless Writer
Summary: Carlito Solano has been beaten and abused nearly every day of his life. When he attempts to end it all, he winds up at Safe Haven. There he meets his roommate, Joseph "Johnny" Tuturro, who has also attempted to end his own life. A bond of course, could be made. AU CarlitoxJohnny
1. Prologue

**Prologue:**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but my own original characters. Carlito, Lucia, Carlos Solano, and Johnny Tuturro belong to Jeff Eastin and USA Network. Thank you for reading.**

I took a deep breath as I walked around the bathroom. Kida kept it clean, per Papa's orders, and luckily for me, she kept it organized. I knew exactly where what I needed was. I glanced at the clock. I still had an hour to myself. Just one hour and Lucia would be back with Kida from her ballet lesson. So I had to make this quick...

I opened the medicine cabinet, finding what I needed: Papa's blood pressure pills, Asprin, and the antibiotics I was supposed to have finished the last time I had the flu. I grabbed a glass, filling it with water as I took out the amount of pills I felt I'd need. Taking a breath, I swallowed the pills and downed the water behind it.

After a fifteen minutes of pacing the bathroom, I managed to start feeling dizzy, my pulse racing. I walked out, slowly, stopping in front of the family portrait. It was an old one, back when Mama was still alive. She and Papa were hugged close together, Lucia and I in front of them. Fake smiles plastered on our faces. I glared. "Fuck you. Fuck you. You took her away from us! She couldn't take being married to a monster, so she killed herself! She would've run if she could've! But she couldn't! Not without you finding and killing her!" I shouted at the picture. I could almost hear my Papa now.

"_Oh yes, it's my fault she was so weak, that she decided to end her own life instead of staying with us. Please, tell me again how I drowned her even though I was a hundred miles away on business. Tell me, Carlito, how I did such a thing._" I could hear his smugness in his voice, feel the hit I knew would come. I fell to my knees, still glaring up at the photograph.

"You... You're a bastard! Every day I suffered from your hand. No more. Lucia doesn't need me to protect her any longer now that Kida is here. I... I have no one. And with me gone, I'll finally be free of your wretched hand!" I took off my shoe, fumbling with the laces. I grabbed it in my hand, throwing it full force at the photo, watching it fall to the ground. My vision started to black out, and I allowed myself to be lulled to sleep...

I woke up to bright lights and Lucia crying. My mouth was so dry, and I could barely move. Machines whirred around me, and the room... Wasn't my room... "Where... Am I?"I rasped, turning my head to face where Lucia's cries were coming from. I heard a gasp and felt a hand on mine, and I tried to smile for Lucia, but she only cried harder.

"Carlito! You bonobo! I thought you were dead! I thought you had left me!" She sobbed. I squeezed her hand weakly.

"I'm sorry." I turned to Kida. "Am... At the hospital?" I asked, though I knew the answer. She nodded, her features soft.

"I don't know why you would do such a thing Carlos... You break your father's heart... And your sister's..." She spoke. I tried not to laugh at her mention of my father. Him? With a heart? She was joking.

"Because I don't want to live." I answered, matter of factly. I smacked my lips a bit. "Can I have some water?" Kida sighed and got me a glass, helping me to drink it. When I finished, I sighed. "So how long am I going to be stuck in the hospital on suicide watch?"I asked, looking at the two women. Kida gave a sigh.

"You will be here for a few weeks, until you are better. Then I have orders to take you to a camp your father heard about... For troubled youths like yourself... A boarding school type camp for summer. Safe Haven..."Kida answered. I swore, getting in trouble as soon as I said it. This was definitely going to be a long summer.


	2. Chapter One: Meeting the Roommate

**Chapter One: Meet the Roommate**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but my own original characters. Carlito, Lucia, Carlos Solano, and Johnny Tuturro belong to Jeff Eastin and USA Network. Thank you for reading.**

It was a long drive from the mansion to this... Safe Haven. Country sides rolled past; fields and lakes. I snorted. '_Of course this place is out in the middle of nowhere... The doctors probably think the seclusion will help with their "healing process" bullshit._' I thought silently. We came up to a gate and Kida stopped, rolling her window down. "Kida Freyei, here to drop of Carlos Solano, Jr." She spoke to the camera. I sighed, laying back as the gates opened and she began to drive in.

I was amazed a bit. The place looked more like one of the private colleges Papa made me tour throughout the school year. A courtyard was the first thing I noticed, complete with a fountain in the center of it. The building was large, connecting to other, smaller buildings. And I could see a hint of a tennis court in the back. "What kind of place is this?" I asked, turning to Kida. She shrugged.

"Your father just told me to bring you here and sign you in. He just said it was a place for troubled youths. Other than that, I'm unsure, Master Carlos." She spoke. I let out a frustrated sigh as she parked. I got out, grabbing my bag and following her into the main office. A nurse was sitting at the reception desk, a smile on her face. Whether it was a real smile or not, I couldn't tell.

"Hello. I'm Nurse Lydia. Welcome to Safe Haven. You are?"she asked me. I sighed.

"Carlos Solano, Jr. Or Carlito..." I answered. She nodded and looked over a file, handing me a sheet of paper.

"This is your schedule and room number. I'll have Keith take you to dormitory and to your room for the first time so you don't get lost. Your roommate is already in the room and I'm sure he'll be happy to meet you." Lydia smiled, gesturing for an orderly to come over. I looked at Kida.

"I guess this is good bye... Huh?" I asked. She gave a weak smile.

"Be good, Carlito..."She ruffled my hair, sending me off with the Keith person...

I found my room, with the help of Keith. Number 79. Great. I sighed, opening the door. The room was immaculate, a single television with a VHS player, a bunk bed, some dressers, and a bunk bed... And someone laying down on the bottom bunk of said bed.

He hadn't noticed me, too wrapped up in his... Comic book? '_Oh great... I'm stuck with a dork._' I thought silently as I sized him up. He was tall, though it was hard to tell with how he laid down. Glasses, tan skin, and curly hair... But it was short... "Hello?" I spoke.

He jumped, dropping his comic book to the floor. "H-hey..." He stood up, giving a shy smile, revealing the braces on his teeth. "I'm Joseph Tuturro... Though most people call me Joey or Johnny... Which... Well, I won't get into the reference. But um... Hi." He extended a hand to me. I smiled a bit at his nervousness, it was... Strange, for someone to be nervous around me.

"Carlito."I shook his hand. "Solano." I introduced myself. He gaped.

"Like from the Solano Corp. That makes those computers?" The kid, Johnny, asked. I shrugged.

"Yeah... But I'd rather not talk about my father's business."I gave him a weak smile. He nodded.

"I understand... My dad... Well... It wasn't a pretty relationship..."He shrugged. We were silent for a moment when he smiled up at me. "Play any sports? I mean... I'm not much of a sports fan, but I do like American football and fútbol. But swimming and surfing are my favorites."He grinned. I thought for a moment.

"I'm... Okay with both American and normal fútbol, but I think I tennis may be my best sport." I smiled. He nodded, looking at me.

"The top bunk's yours by the way... Most people prefer top... But with my luck I'd fall and hurt myself... So I went with the bottom bunk..." He rambled. I nodded, going to start unpacking.

"Which dresser did you pick?"I asked him. He gestured to one near the bottom bunk. I nodded, starting unpacking in the other dresser. He bit his lip.

"Carlito? Have... You ever been to camp before? I mean... I know this is gonna sound weird... But I'm 17 and never been to camp... My dad always said it was for sissies who made friendship bracelets... But... I just... I don't know..."he sighed. I turned to him, putting a folded up shirt in the top drawer.

"I went to a polo camp once... It was a long time ago though... I was like 10..." I shrugged. He tilted his head.

"Polo? Like with the horses?" He asked. I nodded.

"Yeah. The horses are pretty awesome... Most are... Gentle..." I smiled, thinking of the one that had been my responsibility at camp. A tall Arabian, a handsome horse, but who was scared of thunder, wanting to be comforted often. Like a dog.

"Sounds cool... Never had pets really... Though there was this stray cat I used to feed scraps too... Pet him sometimes... Don't know what happened to him though..."Johnny spoke, seemingly to himself at the last portion. I sighed.

"Do you know who you're going to for their introduction session later today?"I asked. He pulled out a sheet of paper from his backpack.

"Dr. Riley Gilmore. You?"He looked at me. I smiled.

"Same. Looks like we'll learn more there..."


	3. Chapter Two: Introduction Session

**Chapter Two: Introduction Session**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but my own original characters. Carlito, Lucia, Carlos Solano, and Johnny Tuturro belong to Jeff Eastin and USA Network. Thank you for reading.**

Someone was shaking me awake, saying something about the time. I groaned, opening my eyes to see chocolate brown ones staring back at me, behind glasses. "What?"I asked, shaking my head and stretching.

"I... Said it's time to head over for the Introduction Session thing... You... Told me to wake you up..."The other boy spoke, rambling. I sighed.

"Okay. I'm up... Let me stretch."I responded. He nodded, climbing down the ladder and to the ground. I sighed and stretched my arms and legs, climbing down to be on the ground. "Lets head out, Johnny."I smiled, grabbing the room keys and opening the door. He followed me out, shutting and locking the door. "So do you know where we're going?"I asked. Johnny shrugged.

"I say just follow the crowd." He gestured to a group of kids, some looking as young as thirteen, walking out of the dormitory. I nodded, getting in with the group and following them through the courtyard and into a different wing. Rooms that appeared to be classrooms had doors open, names on the front. I smiled when I finally found one I was looking for.

"Riley Gilmore's room. I found it." I tugged Johnny's shirt, leading him inside. There were only a few seats left, none together. I sighed, taking a seat in between a girl with spiked red hair and a black boy. The "doctor"(she didn't seem like a real doctor, wearing a t-shirt and pair of jeans, Hell she seemed to be our age) waited a bit longer, the rest of the seats filling up. She then sat down in the center chair, looking at us all.

"Good evening, I'm Dr. Riley Gilmore, as you may know. I'm going to be your camp counselor... If you have issues, I'm the one you come to, or if you're taking your individual sessions, and your group sessions." She smiled, looking us over as we mulled over what she said.

"Now, believe it or not... I was in your place once upon a time... I used to feel like I wasn't good enough or pretty enough or smart enough for anyone... I tried to end my life... And I wound up hurting everyone I love... I came here and... I learned to love myself. That's what we're going to be hoping for with all of you."she smiled. "Now... I want us to go around the room and say our names and what we're recovering from..." She gestured to the blonde girl beside Johnny. "Would you start please?"

"My name is Carter Smith. And I'm recovering from anorexia."she turned to Johnny, gesturing that it was his turn. He bit his lip.

"Joseph Tuturro... Though I prefer Johnny... And I guess you could say I'm recovering from depression and anxiety..."He looked at the red haired girl between us.

"Keisha Ray. They say I have bipolar disorder... I personally don't see it."She shrugged. I sighed, my turn.

"Carlos Solano, Jr. I prefer Carlito. I'm not sure why I'm here, but I suppose it's because they deem me... Suicidal..."I gave sigh, running a hand through my hair. The black boy beside me frowned.

"Damion Reed. They said I have bulimia... But that's a girls' disease." Dr. Riley stood up, walking over to him.

"Actually Damion, bulimia and anorexia may be commonly diagnosed in young girls, but boys are just as likely to have it. So there's no need to feel shame."She gave a smile, putting a hand on his shoulder before going back to sit down.

A small Asian girl was next. "Hayley Lin... And I'm here because I have... Schizophrenia..."She swallowed. I swore mentally. '_Great... I'm stuck at a secluded institutional camp with a bunch of crazies._'

"That concludes our little session of getting to know each other... Here are your schedules for other events, like the art class and tennis games."Dr. Riley began handing out sheets of paper to us before dismissing us for dinner.


	4. Chapter Three: Dinner and a Show

**Chapter Three: Dinner and a Show**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but my own original characters. Carlito, Lucia, Carlos Solano, and Johnny Tuturro belong to Jeff Eastin and USA Network. Thank you for reading.**

We made our way to the cafeteria, getting in line for a plate. "This is a lot like school..."Johnny spoke softly from behind me. I turned to him.

"Your school did this for lunch?"I asked, confused. He nodded and I shook my head. "At my school, we had a buffet... Then again... I did go to a private school." The blonde girl snorted.

"Figures. Rich kid."She glared. I frowned.

"Just because I went to private school, does not mean I'm some snooty rich kid."I spoke. Johnny turned to me.

"But your dad is Carlos Solano... From Solano Corp..."he spoke. I swore.

"Okay. So I am a rich kid. But I'm not completely snooty."I told her. The girl rolled her eyes.

"Sure..."She snorted, headed towards the line. I turned to Johnny.

"Am I snooty?"I asked. Johnny shrugged.

"I don't know... I've not known you for long. But I'm sure you're not."He gave a smile before getting in line himself...

After getting through the line and getting my dinner plate, I made my way to an empty table, ready to eat (or attempt to eat), in peace. Johnny walked over with his own plate, sitting beside me. "You don't mind, do you?"He asked. I shook my head, taking a bite of my spaghetti. He took a bite of his own, looking around. "Think we're gonna become friends with our group?" I shrugged.

"Perhaps. Not sure I'll make friends though..." I took a sip of tea. "I tend to be... Harsh."I admitted, looking away. I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"I think you'll do fine."Johnny smiled, removing his hand. I smiled.

"Thank you..."

Dinner went on without a hitch, no more confrontations between me and the blonde girl... Carter. Johnny and I were on our way to our room, when he stopped me. "Carlito... I brought some movies from home... Feel like watching one with me? Before lights out?"He smiled. I thought for a moment. '_What kind of movie...? He looks so pleading though... Perhaps..._'

"Sure. After we get into our night clothes... Is that okay?"I asked. He grinned, showing his teeth and braces, arms going around me in a hug.

"Thank you!"He squeezed. I felt myself flush, unsure of what to do.

"Welcome... Would you let me go now... Please...?"I asked, face still red. He flushed, letting me go.

"Sorry. I'm a hugger."He grinned, going into our room, me following in behind him...

We each took a shower and put on our night clothes, resting in bed as the movie started up. It was a Disney movie, one about a girl who had fled her house, to serve as a soldier in her father's place. _Mulan._ Johnny sang along with some of the songs, voice soft as he did so. I couldn't help but smile. Perhaps he was a child still, but he seemed to have no problems with himself... Unlike... I had...

The movie ended and Johnny had climbed up to my bunk. "Did you like the movie?"He asked, eyes searching mine. I gave a smile.

"The movie was entertaining. I enjoyed it."I nodded to him. He grinned.

"Maybe we should start a movie night... It could be a fun way to bond. You know?"Johnny laid his head down on the railings, smiling. I sighed.

"Maybe... Talk to Dr. Gilmore about it."I laid back. "Buenos Noches, Johnny."I turned over, going to sleep.

"Hasta mañana."he climbed down and into his own bed.


	5. Chapter Four: Just a Game

**Chapter Four: Just a Game**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but my own original characters. Carlito, Lucia, Carlos Solano, and Johnny Tuturro belong to Jeff Eastin and USA Network. Thank you for reading.**

Keith, one of the orderlies, led our group and another towards a small field, one with two goals. "I'm sure you're all aware of how the game of soccer goes, correct?"The main doctor in charge, Dr. Bristol, spoke. We all nodded in agreement, waiting for our next instructions. Dr. Bristol explained this would be our most active activity for the day, our exercise. And that the two groups were now teams and that it was our group (Gilmore's teams), against Dr. Frued's team. Great.

The game started off well, until the other team scored. I felt my competitive nature take hold as I tried to make goals against them, wanting our team to win. We kicked the ball, they'd kick the ball, our goalies would try to block, sometimes they'd miss, sometimes they'd make it. The scores had been made 4-4. And Dr. Bristol said there was only a minute left before we had to go inside and to the art room. I got our group together.

"Okay... We wanna win, right?"I asked, huddling them up. They all managed to nod, panting and sweating, getting tired.

"Yeah. I'm in." Carter nodded, looking at me. "Just remember they have Allen, and he was captain of the soccer team at his school.. At least, that's what I heard."She spoke. Johnny cleaned his glasses, the sweat having got on them.

"I say we block him. If we have enough people on him, it may deter him from trying to win..."he looked at me. I nodded.

"Okay. So Hayley, you, Keisha, Damion, Carter keep the guy blocked. Johnny, make sure nothing gets past you at the goal post, understood?"I ordered out. Johnny and the others nodded, when Damion glanced.

"What are you gonna do?"he asked, frowning. I gave a smile.

"I'm going to score."We broke, going back to our positions on the field. The ball was on the field, whistle blown, and we were off. Carter and Hayley were doing well, keeping that Allen guy on his toes, the others keeping close enough to him to block. I managed to get the ball between my feet, kicking towards their goal post, when it was kicked away from me by Allen, knocking me to ground. The whistle blew as they scored, and I swore mentally, standing and making my way over to the boy. Johnny intercepted, taking a hold of my arm.

"Don't do anything stupid man. It was just a game. Okay? Just a game."He whispered, braces making his words lisp a bit. I sighed, relaxing.

"Fine. We'll get them next time though... I'm sure of it."I gave a wicked smile, and Johnny sighed.

"Just try to stay out of trouble. You looked like you were gonna beat him..."

"I was. Then you stopped me."I looked at Johnny. He just let out a breath.

"Come on. Time to paint our feelings or whatever it is we do in art class."


	6. Chapter Five: Stay Away

**Chapter Five: Stay Away**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but my own original characters. Carlito, Lucia, Carlos Solano, and Johnny Tuturro belong to Jeff Eastin and USA Network. Thank you for reading.**

A week had passed since everyone had arrived at 'camp'. We were all in the cafeteria, eating our breakfast, when the head doctor stood up. "Alright everyone, so far so good. We've had some breakthroughs, some relapses, but all in all it's been a good first week. Today there will be no classes or sessions. Some of you have parents and family members coming up to meet you and talk to you. To learn. Have a good day."He smiled and sat back down.

I sighed, finishing up my eggs. "Great. Family meetings..." I snorted. I noticed Carter shaking. I looked at her. "What? Your family sick too?"I asked her. She looked down.

"I don't wanna see my mom. My sister, I'd love to see her... But I don't wanna see mom... I can't see her."The table shook from her shaking. Johnny sighed.

"I know the feeling... But I'm excited that I get to see my brother. And even my mamá."Johnny gave a smile. I sighed as the others began chatting about who they were hoping to see, who they were excited to see...

Johnny and I stayed in our room, watching a movie. It was one of his favorites, some movie about a group of warriors who flew in spaceships and fought with glowing swords. "So what are they trying to do again?"I asked him.

"They're trying to find Princess Leia and save her from Jabba the Hutt who is that ugly blob thing. And well... Han Solo needs to be saved too because he's been frozen."Johnny rambled, leaning back against me in the floor. I nodded.

"Okay, so when they save them, they want to save the world, yes?"

"Not just the world. The entire Universe. If they don't the evil Sith Lords will rule. And that ain't cool."Johnny nodded. I gave a nod, holding him as we watched. He didn't seem to notice my hold, instead just relaxed. The movie had just ended when the intercom came on.

"Carlos Solano, Jr. Please report to the main office. Your family is here to speak with you." I sighed and stood.

"Let's go see if they miss me."I gave a wry smile as I walked out...

I made my way into the main office, sitting down in the room Keith led me too. A few moments later; Lucia, Kida, and Papa walked in. "Carlito... How've you been?" Papa asked. I narrowed my eyes.

"Why does it matter how I've been, what do you care?"I shot back. He shook his head.

"I'm just wondering how my only son feels. Is that so wrong?"

"No. It wouldn't be... If you actually gave a damn."I spoke. Kida gasped.

"Carlito, you shouldn't use that language with your father. That isn't right."She reprimanded me. I rolled my eyes.

"Oh please... As if he cares."I glared.

"I do care. I just have my own way of showing it."Papa sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. Lucia sighed.

"So, what do you do here?" Lucia asked. I shrugged.

"I paint, play soccer, talk. Nothing much." She nodded. Papa gave me a look.

"Paint? Why? And what do you talk about?"He asked. I gave a small smile. He may have been playing concerned, but he was just worried that I was talking about the abuse, the name callings, the drugs. He was just hoping his little empire didn't come crashing down.

"We paint our feelings. Little splashes of color. Or scenes. Or just random strokes. And as for the talks... I can't say. It's classified."I gave a smirk as he silently fumed.

"Carlito. Nothing here is supposed to be classified..."He gave a forced smile. "If something is bothering you, I should know so I can help fix it." I snickered.

"Sorry. That's the rules. Good bye."I waved them off, leaving the room.

"Get back in here!"My father called out.

"I get to choose how long my visits are!"I called back, leaving for my dorm room...

Johnny was asleep when I walked in, laying on his bed. He was shaking a bit, murmuring in Spanish. I sighed, covering him with his blanket to keep him from shaking more. "Sleep well..."I whispered, climbing up to my bed and falling asleep...


	7. Chapter Six: Origins (Part One)

**Chapter Six: Origins (Part One)**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but my own original characters. Carlito, Lucia, Carlos Solano, and Johnny Tuturro belong to Jeff Eastin and USA Network. Thank you for reading.**

"For this session, we're going to discuss what brought us here, individually. Why were you brought here, what pushed you?" Dr. Gilmore spoke, looking over at the group. Everyone stayed silent, some twiddled their thumbs, others looking away. She sighed. "We have most of the afternoon, and we may not get through all of you. But we're going to try. I know opening old wounds is hard and difficult, but it can be beneficial to your recovery. Believe it or not, if you talk about what happened, it'll help you understand it, maybe even help you feel better."

Carter closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. "I'm here because of my anorexia... Which... I started because of my step-dad."I noticed her shake a little as she spoke. Everyone watched her intently, wanting to hear the story. I just closed my eyes, not wanting to hear about whatever abuse she endured, but I knew there was no way I could leave.

"Every since I was little, he always told me how beautiful I was. He'd... Touch me, kissed me. I wanted to tell, but he told me I'd break my mother's heart if I did that, that if he stopped with me, my little sister was just as pretty. I hated it, but I let him. I let him touch me every night, I let him make me touch him. I let him. Food was all I could really control. He'd buy the clothes he wanted me to wear, he'd choose when he wanted me. So I stopped eating. I was so thin..." Carter's voice seemed to get distant.

"It never stopped him though. Ever night he'd come in my room, to 'snuggle'."She put the word in air quotes. "I couldn't take it anymore. One day when I was home alone... I grabbed the weight my mom used to exercise with and tied it to my leg. I went outside and I jumped into the pool. The water was so calming and it felt so good, even with my lungs crying for air."Carter broke, sobs now escaping from her lips. Damion and Keisha hugged her close, Johnny gave her a comforting pat on the back. Dr. Gilmore walked over and pulled Carter close.

"I know it must've been difficult to share with us, Carter, but thank you. You're strong to share something like that with us."She gave a smile. Hayley glared.

"Please tell me your step-dad's in jail. He shouldn't get away with that!"the thirteen year old spoke out. Carter gave a weak smile.

"Yeah. The bastard's in jail... But my mother blames me. Says I seduced him..."She shook her head. Dr. Gilmore clicked her tongue.

"Language, Carter. I know you're hurting, but you shouldn't use such language." The doctor gave a look and sat back in her seat. I shook my head. '_And we're supposed to be able to speak freely. Some therapist she is._'I thought to myself.

"Does anyone else feel like sharing?"She asked. Damion swallowed.

"I can't remember when it started... I don't even remember why I did it... But around the time I was ten, food started becoming the enemy. I was fat, really fat, and I needed to loose the weight. Quick. I didn't know why... But I felt like I had to."He swallowed, running a hand through his short hair. "I didn't eat, but when I did I threw it all back up... Food never felt right with me. My parents noticed, tried to make me eat, tried to help me... I didn't feel I needed their help, I felt... In control. But I was so thin... I was thin... And so sick... I nearly died..."he swallowed. Dr. Gilmore nodded.

"Most with eating disorders need the control. That's why they do it. There doesn't have to be a set reason, it can be anything. But it's all about control."She looked at him. "And it's okay not to be in control sometimes. That's what we need to work on." Damion nodded, biting his lips. Johnny raised his hand, his way of asking if he could go next. Dr. Gilmore smiled. "Yes, Johnny?"She looked at him. Johnny took a deep breath.

"I'd... Like to go next..."I looked at him as he said that, ready to see what secret the human sunshine harbored. The doctor nodded.

"The floor is yours, John."She gave a soft smile. He took that as he cue and took another breath.

"My dad always screwed with me... Always told me how stupid and worthless I was, how I brought disgrace to him. No matter how high I scored on a test at school or how well I did in surfing or football or the math and science club, he berated me. Got on to me all the time if I didn't cook or make sure my younger brother was on time. Verbal abuses were the easy things to handle..." He rubbed the back of his neck.

"He started hitting me when I was six... All out punching. Kicking, grabbing, choking. But I always managed to cover it up. I thought... I deserved it... But my best friend since kindergarten, the... Man who became my boyfriend... He always made a point of telling me how amazing I was, how I was so smart and good and incredible. Made me feel special... Until... My dad found us... He made him leave and then preceded to beat the shit out of me. I couldn't even feel the hits he went so fast... He... Nearly beat me to death..."Johnny shook. Before I could think about what I was doing, I was over there where he was, placing a hand on his shoulder, trying to offer some sort of comfort.

He smiled up at me, a sad smile I knew all too well. He looked back down at his feet, going back to his story. "My boyfriend had called 911 from his home, trying to help. But it was the last time I saw him before he moved... Everyone showed so much sympathy, tried too hard, treated me like I was some sort of glass figurine... I couldn't take it... I... Tried to hang myself..."Johnny bit his lip, raising his neck a bit to show a dark red mark. I swore softly. It left a mark. The group let out a soft gasp, comforting words spoken of how he was among friends now, away from his dad. He could only nod at them. All I could do was give his shoulder another squeeze before walking to my seat.

"Okay... Who wishes to go next?"She asked, looking around. Before anyone could answer, the bell for lunch ended. She sighed. "We will continue this session tomorrow. Have a nice lunch."Dr. Gilmore spoke, closing her notebook. I stood and waited for Johnny at the door, walking with him to lunch. He gave me another weak smile.

"Thanks... For the support back there..."

"Anytime, Johnny. You needed it."I gave a small nod before walking to the lunch line, glad I hadn't had to say anything this time.


	8. Chapter Seven: Interlude

**Chapter Seven: Interlude**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but my own original characters. Carlito, Lucia, Carlos Solano, and Johnny Tuturro belong to Jeff Eastin and USA Network. Thank you for reading.**

We began heading for the cafeteria, hoping that something edible would be made. Damion stopped me half-way there. "Carlito... Mind if I ask you something?"He asked, shifting from foot to foot. I shrugged.

"Ask away. But hurry, I don't want to get there and the good food be gone."I answered, waiting for him to ask. Damion sighed.

"You gonna be okay rooming with Johnny now? After his little... Speech of being gay and all that...? If not, you can always room with me." Damion spoke. I frowned.

"Johnny has been nothing but kind to me since I got here. Just because he likes men does not mean I will start treating him pitifully. So he likes men, big deal. At least he's not into fucking dogs or dead bodies. It could always be worse. Besides, he's just trying to get through, like the rest of us, and has been nothing but supportive of us all. How can we not return the favor?"I turned back and started for the cafeteria again. Damion ran after me, catching up.

"I didn't mean it to sound that bad. I'm sorry."He apologized. I just shrugged.

"Just... Please, don't make him feel worse. His father seemed to have done enough damage."

_I winced as he pushed me into the ground, over and over. He grabbed me and slammed me against the wall. "You are no son of mine. You're just some pussy! Worthless piece of trash!" I gasped as I hit my knees._

_"__Please. Papa. Don't be mad. Please." I begged, trembling. He kicked my stomach, causing me to start coughing up blood._

_"__Did you think I would not find out? That I would not notice how you stared at him? What is wrong with you? Another boy?"He growled. I trembled, trying not to cry._

_"__Papa... Please..."_

I was gasping for air, looking into unfocused brown eyes. "Carlito. Shh... It's okay... It's okay..."He was murmuring. I sat up in my bed, causing him to lean off the ladder a bit.

"Wh-what happened?"I asked, my voice hoarse. '_Have I been screaming?_' My body was cold, slicked with sweat. Johnny swallowed, still looking me over, analyzing me.

"You had a nightmare... I think... I'm not sure... I just know when I got up to pee, you were screaming. I came up here to try and soothe... Guess I'm not that good at it..."He gave a sheepish smile. I sighed, trying to catch my breath still.

"I'm fine... I just... Had a bad dream..."I nodded, calming down. Johnny seemed to light up, scurrying down the ladder and into the bathroom. He returned minutes later with a washcloth and climbed the ladder back up.

"Here... My mom... She... Always did this when we were little and had bad dreams. The cool washcloth seemed to soothe us."He handed the cloth to me. I took it, carefully rubbing over my face and the back of my neck, sighing softly. It did feel good against my skin, calming.

"Thank you... I'll try not to wake you again."I yawned. Johnny gave a soft smile.

"Night, Carlito... Sleep better."He climbed back down to his bed. I found a smile for myself.

"Goodnight Johnny. I'll try."


End file.
